He does have a point about them easily being able to switch locations if they wanted. It might be nice to find somewhere more comfortable, or at least somewhere she doesn't feel like the other guests are judging them because they know she and Clint don't belong.
But his idea for a second date sounds... perfect, honestly. Given how chaotic her chosen career is, she isn't really a go do stuff girl in her rare off hours. Whenever she has a free night, she would just as soon grab a pizza and stream a movie with her niece, though these days Alya prefers documentaries that threaten to put Daisy to sleep after a long day. But still, contrary to what most people probably believe of heroes, a quiet night in (if a rooftop can be considered in) seems like a really great option.
"I really like the sound of that." They've barely known each other for half an hour and she's already contemplating a second date. A thought occurs to her and she looks around for a moment, contemplating if she really wants to make that leap, and then she looks back at Clint with an expression that's equal parts challenge and hope. "You know, we could always do that tonight. I mean, why wait? Unless someone else is using it or something."
Clint is relieved when she likes the idea for a second date. Some people think that he's just trying to get them into bed considering the proximity to his apartment. That's not usually his goal, honestly, it just really is his favourite place to be during his off hours. His bed being close has a lot to do with it, but not often when it comes to his dates.
Then she offers to go there now and Clint isn't about to say no.
"Let's do it," he agrees. "We can have our second date there too," he assures her. Hell, they can have all of their dates there. "No one else uses it unless we're having a building wide thing. My back door opens up onto the roof so it's not accessible to anyone else unless they come through my place."
He chugs the rest of his beer and signals for the server to come so he can get their bill, insisting on covering it despite Coulson's offer. "Don't wanna feel like Dad is paying for us to go to the movies or something," he laughs.
Daisy's never been a conventional date person. Hell, she can't even remember the last time she had a proper date. All of her past relationships had gone from acquaintances to together without any sort of dating and getting to know each other period, so she doesn't really care if this is considered strange or too fast or any of that. Nothing about the rest of her life is normal, so why should her dating life be?
She finishes off the rest of her beer as well, laughing at his comment as he pays the bill. "I'm gonna tell him you said that," she teases, having a hunch that Coulson will respond by actually buying them movie passes the next time.
Grabbing her leather jacket, she slides out of the booth and nods to the door. "Come on, Hawkguy," she says with a grin. "Let's see if you get lucky enough for that second date."
Clint wraps his arm around her waist as they leave the bar and only afterward does he consider that it might not be okay. "Sorry," he says, "this okay though?" He wonders where the building Daisy lives in is located because this bar is only a couple blocks from his, which is something he's sure Coulson thought of. He knows how much Clint loves his little rooftop, and likely could have anticipated them ending up there.
He guides Daisy through the streets even though he's confident that she doesn't need the help at all. He can't deny that he likes that about her; he's always had a thing for women that can kick his ass without even trying. Maybe that's why he's been so dissatisfied with the dating pool on the apps.
There's a little store on the corner right before they get to his building so he says, "all I've got upstairs is Natty light, so if you want something else, we'll have to grab it here."
When he asks about the arm around her, she's surprised to find herself saying that, "Yeah, it's okay." With anyone else she'd technically just met, it would have been an absolute, immediate no. Keep your distance because you haven’t earned even close to this level of intimacy yet. But with Clint, on some level he doesn't have to earn it. She trusts him implicitly because Coulson does, and that goes a long way. Not that she's ready to jump into bed with him just yet, he'll have to work at that one a little longer, but the fear of being betrayed that has lingered at the back of her mind for the past decade ever since Ward — that feeling is quiet with Clint. Of all the things she might ever have to worry about with him, she knows instinctively betrayal isn't included on the list.
The way they walk together is really nice too, unexpectedly so. There's no sense of him seeing her as someone needing to be protected that she's gotten from people who don't know what she's capable of, so while he does stay close while he guides her to his building, it's comfortable rather than stifling. It feels like some strange sort of revelation that she actually likes it.
"You know, I've actually never tried it," she admits, glancing over at him. "But I'll drink just about anything, so we'll be good." Looking at the street ahead, a smile tugs at her lips. "And just FYI, I definitely want to hear the story of how you semi-legally own a building."
"It's pretty much swill," Clint admits. "Like, the worst of the worst. I'm not even sure who left it behind, but I think it was from the last barbecue." He hasn't had time or the inclination to stock up on something better, "but it's fine in a pinch," he adds with a laugh. If there's a second date, he'll make sure he at least buy some pabst, even though that's not much better.
Once they get closer, he points the building out. "Oh, you mean this old thing? That's a story better told on a rooftop," Clint replies with a laugh.
The building itself isn't anything too special. It's made with red brick, south facing, with fire escapes and balconies around the back. There are only five floors, so there's no elevator, but it is in good repair. Clint likes it, it's got character, unlike the new sky scrapers that are being erected everywhere right now. Once they arrive, Clint opens the door for Daisy and tells her, "take the stairs all the way up. I'm right behind you."
Edited (Goose (the cat, not the flurkin) somehow pressed enter.) 2023-06-20 22:22 (UTC)
Daisy likes the look of the building because it's just a normal building. This is a place where locals live, the people who work for a living and want to be part of a community. It matches what Clint had said about them having building-wide events on the roof — that's the sort of activity she'd always seen in movies but never had the chance to be part of. But maybe she could be if things work out—
Those thoughts are immediately shoved back down, hidden away in the hopes that she won't talk herself out of this. Running when things seem too good is a bad habit of hers, along with running when things get hard. Flaws are probably something they should discuss at some point...
"Okay, mystery man," she acknowledges with a playfully suspicious look before starting up the stairs. The stairs aren't difficult, though she's definitely glad there aren't more of them. If he'd asked her to climb 20 flights, she'd have some strong thoughts to share. Five, though, she can absolutely handle.
Clint follows behind her and makes sure to not stare at her ass. He's trying to be a gentleman here, and it's working so far. When they get to the top of the stairs, he gently nudges her side to direct her to his apartment. He unlocks the door and opens it to let her in. When he'd bought the building, he'd just stayed in the same unit even though he probably could have moved things around to have a bigger one. He doesn't need the space since when the kids come, they just stay at the tower. They have bedrooms there, and Scott is usually around with Cassie too, so they all do family things together.
He opens the door for her to go in, revealing a modest loft style apartment (likethis), clean but well lived in, floor to ceiling windows on the left and a door that leads to the staircase just off the right side of the kitchen, leading up to the roof.
"Welcome to my place," he says, coming in behind her. He leads her to the kitchen and grabs the remainder of the beer then opens the door for her. This time, he leads her up and opens the door to the rooftop. Even though he's the only one with access through his apartment, he does let the other tenants come up whenever they want, and Mrs. Smith even has a key so she can tend to the garden). Thankfully there's no one up here now, leaving the space open for a pretty nice date.
Clint comes up behind her and passes her one of the beers before leaning over to look at the city. "So, better than the bar Coulson chose?" he laughs.
The apartment is different from what Daisy expected. Well, she's not entirely sure what she'd been expecting, but a clean little loft with big windows and an almost cozy vibe certainly wasn't it. The place is nice, though, really nice, and she can imagine feeling at home here.
She can imagine feeling safe here. That's the part that's a little scary.
Following him out onto the roof, the sprawling city before them is a stunning view. It's not perfect by any means, but it's the only hometown she's ever known, so she'll always have a certain level of fondness for the city. There's a growing list of people within it who she's fond of too.
"Oh yeah, much better," she agrees with a grin before taking a sip of her drink. The beer sits on her tongue for a moment while she considers the flavor. "It's not great, it's actually pretty terrible, but you know, I've had worse." She can't help but laugh as she wrinkles her nose at the can before shaking her head and taking another drink.
Clint comes up behind her and gently slings his arm around her waist. He'll remove it immediately if she doesn't want him touching her, but he has the feeling that she won't mind. "You get used to the taste, honestly. One more of these and you'll buy it yourself here and there, and then suddenly, it'll be all you buy," he laughs, taking a sip of his own beer. "I mean, I don't buy it exclusively but if I'm feeling a little sad and a lot trashy, I got for the Natty light."
He's angled more toward her than the view, but then, he's used to seeing it. What he wants to see is Daisy. She's looking out at the city, and Clint takes a moment to take her in. She's beautiful, of course, but there's something about the way that her eyes are shining in the reflection of the city lights. She loves this city, and he can tell. It seems like she's having a good time, too, which is nice to see.
"So, I'm really bad at first dates. Are there questions we should be asking each other? I don't want to ask anything triggering, and in our business, that could be anything."
Daisy's always been someone whose 'love language' was touch. If she ever went to unpack that particular part of herself in therapy, it could probably be linked back to her childhood of growing up in an orphanage and being constantly rejected by foster families. Being physically close to people is something she needs but never asks for, so every hug given or hand held is savored for the precious experience it is. Clint's arm around her is comforting above all, and she can feel her personal shields lowering further.
"You ask that like I have the answers," she counters with a shake of her head. "I can't remember the last time I had a first date. Hell, I might never have had one before. Most of my relationships have gone from 0 to 60 and skipped the in-between. Which might not say great things about me, now that I think about it..."
With a playful cringe, she realizes she's stumbled back onto a question she'd considered earlier. Might as well get it over with now. So after another swig of beer, she asks, "Speaking of, what would you say your flaws are? Mine include a whole host of rejection and abandonment issues, running when things get tough or seem too good to be true, and usually putting everyone else before myself."
Look, just because she doesn't actively see a therapist at the moment doesn't mean she's not fully aware of what they would say.
"I've had tons of first dates, even recently, and I'm still terrible at them." He stays close to Daisy while he drinks his beer, letting their bodies touch from hip to shoulder. She hasn't said anything about it, but he thinks that maybe she craves this just like he does. He's very tactile because he's never really had that before, from his parents or from his brother. He thinks maybe that's why he and Laura had gotten married so fast, why he'd fought to stay together so hard. He wants someone to be close to. He wonders if Daisy is the same.
"Well shit, going for the hard ones," Clint teases. "And yeah, I definitely have flaws. I'm reckless, I have an ego. I don't like to listen to people, especially when I think I'm right. In a relationship, I can be a bad communicator. I've got loads of daddy issues, rejection issues, so same. I don't consider this a flaw at all, but my kids come first. It doesn't matter what else is happening. They have to come first."
It's caused friction in the past, with people that think that they should come before everything else in his life. He can't let that happen.
Leaning a little of her weight against him to affirm her participation in this connection, she continues looking out at the city, but it should be clear her attention is still fully centered on Clint. Reckless matches the stories she's heard from Coulson, as does that stubbornness when he thinks he's right, though she's certain that presents differently when he's in a relationship than when he's in the field. And the communication and other issues, well, so long as they're both aware, they can work with them.
It's only the last one that needs to be addressed, as far as she's concerned. It's the most important of them all. "That's definitely not a flaw," she agrees, looking at him. "You putting them first — it makes all the difference in their lives, even if they don't realize it. If I'd had that growing up..."
She looks away again, emotion thick in her voice. "I met Coulson when I was 25, and he was the first person to believe in me in a long time. He was the only person to ever put me first, and it changed my life. Everyone deserves to have that, and your kids are lucky to have that in you."
"Some people don't agree with that," Clint replies, shrugging. "And even some that have kids themselves haven't liked the fact that I'll drop everything to be there for them if they need me. It blows my mind a little bit that I have to tell people before we get too deep, honestly."
This is a hard line for Clint, so he's really glad that Daisy agrees. "Ideally, whoever I end up with will love them too, you know?" He's not about to introduce someone to them right away though. He doesn't want to move too fast where that's concerned. And he doesn't want to get ahead of himself either, imagining Daisy coming to the farm with him to spend a long weekend, meet the kids and Laura too. It's too much to consider for a first date.
The relationship she has with Coulson doesn't surprise him. Coulson's always been the kind of guy that sees the potential in someone, even if they're currently not meeting it. He'd done the same with Clint himself. "Yeah, it's the same for me, really. He was at my wedding, he came to see my kids when they were born. He was always more than just my handler, you know? And now he's not my handler so we can have a beers on the roof and he can set me up with his new favourites," he chuckles at the end there, giving Daisy a little squeeze.
Daisy's never really been able to picture having a family of her own. She's thought about it plenty of times, of course, but it all seems like a foreign concept meant for other people. Growing up, the only examples of a family she'd had were the fosters who inevitably sent her back to the orphanage, so they weren't the greatest associations to make with the idea. And then when she'd finally met her own parents... Well, it wasn't exactly a dream come true. Add in her career choice and she's just not sure bringing kids into the mix is such a good idea.
Of course, that's not to say she wouldn't be able to love children if they came into her life, say attached to the person she was seeing. But that's a terrifying notion all on its own. What if they don't like her? What if they decide she's not good enough to be with their dad? They're ridiculous thoughts, this is their first date and they're nowhere near that stage of things yet.
Hearing Clint talk about Coulson is both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. How many of those little life moments had Coulson missed out on over the years in the name of keeping a secret? Her smile is strained as she glances at Clint. "I'm glad he finally told you about..." She lifts her free hand in a slightly helpless gesture. "I'm just sorry he didn't do it sooner. Things were bad for a long time and I know he could've used you in his life."
Clint kind of shrugs at the secrets Coulson had kept from him. It had been incredibly painful to find out that he'd been lied to for years by the one person he'd trusted implicitly (aside from Natasha, but Natasha is Natasha), but he knows that Coulson had his reasons. Clint still thinks that they were bad reasons, but reasons nonetheless. Coulson thought he was doing the right thing and they've gotten past it. He doesn't want to give up the time that he has now, knowing Coulson is alive, because he's being stubborn.
If that's not growth, Clint doesn't know what is.
He wonders what she means by things being bad. Coulson hasn't told him everything, a lot of it being classified, Clint is sure, but some probably just too much for Coulson to want to talk about. They both have their own lives now, and they don't get to spend as much time together as they might want to. Coulson still comes out to the farm for the kids' birthdays, still drops by in New York every so often, but it's not the same as it was when they were basically living in each others' pockets.
Things are getting a little morose though, and it's their first date. They can talk about deeper, darker stuff if they continue this. "So, you wanted ear about how I happened to become the owner of this beautiful building?"
There are certainly a lot of deeper, darker things they'll have to cover along the way if they continue this. They both have secrets, it's just the nature of things with the sort of lives they've led, but there's also no telling what sort of emotional minefields they'll both need to navigate as they get to know each other. Relationships take hard work in order to succeed, especially when things aren't always sunshine and rainbows.
"Yes, please, this is a story I have to hear," she answers with a smile, turning slightly to face him but not putting any distance between them. They're still physically close, but rather than feeling awkward because of how new this all is, it just feels... nice. It feels right.
Clint grins at her and shakes his head. "Please remember, all of this is a little below the board. And maybe don't tell Coulson," he laughs. He's facing her fully with the lights and buildings behind them as a backdrop.
"So, there are these guys, Russians, maybe mob. I was renting my place from them just to have somewhere away from the Avengers and SHIELD. I've come into some money more recently - legal I promise - and I was just kinda sitting on it with no idea what to do with it. So I started hearing that the Tracksuits were doubling and tripling rents here. And like, there are a lot of families in the building, some young couples, and just, kids that are starting out. No one except me could have afforded the new prices and they all would have had to move."
He takes a breath because he needs to control his anger. He's still so furious that the good people that live here were threatened like that. "Anyway, I found out because they wanted to raise my rent too, and then we all started talking. Long story long, I dropped a bunch of money on the head Tracksuit's desk and told them the building was mine now."
Maybe don't tell Coulson? Now she's really intrigued, and also curious what could make Clint think that. How much of himself has Coulson actually shared with his old friend to give the impression he'd still be bothered by less than legal activities?
As she listens, Daisy can certainly relate to needing a place away from the people she works with day in and day out. There's a part of her that relies on it, her sense of security dependent upon being surrounded by people she trusts, but there's another part that misses the freedom she'd had before joining SHIELD. More than a few times, she's considered getting an apartment outside of the company-owned building she's currently in, but that's just not a leap she's ready to take yet.
That little hint of anger he tamps down on might be a red flag for some people, but for Daisy, it's a giant green one. He's angry on behalf of the people he's taken on as his to protect, the same way she always is when it comes to Inhumans. These people are just trying to live their lives — what's more important than protecting that?
She raises her eyebrows at that last part and asks a follow-up question before taking another sip of her beer. "And they just went with it?"
"No they absolutely did not," Clint replies. "It was a whole thing between me and the tracksuits. They were trying to kill me, I was trying to take their organization apart. There was a lot of back and forth, and the occasional Molotov cocktail through my window. They killed one of my residents in cold blood." Clint is still pretty upset that he hadn't been there to protect Grills when his enemies came calling. It's something that he will never let happen again.
"It's been a bit now, though, and since the tracksuit mob has been taken care of, no one's bothered me at all. Nat's looking into getting everything above the board so no one else can just swoop in and take all this and I get to keep charging fair rents and you know, having a bit of a community around here." It's also kind of nice to not be around heroes all the time. Clint doesn't often consider himself one, so sometimes it can be difficult.
"And sometimes my kids come and visit when we're flipping a unit and they get to help out," he adds.
Daisy frowns while Clint describes the obstacles he'd faced from the Tracksuits. Which, for starters, is a dumb name for a shady Russian mob organization, but that's beside the point. What matters most in that story is how he'd stuck with these people and done what he could, even when he'd lost someone. Her respect for him grows, which seems kind of ridiculous given that he's a freaking Avenger.
"I bet they enjoy working with you like that," she comments in response to the last part, offering him a smile. It's a hell of a story he'd shared, with both lighter and darker elements to it. Leaning on the former, she shakes her head playfully. "Look at you living up to the hero image everyone has of you. I'm impressed."
Clint nods and then shrugs. He's never considered himself a hero, just a guy that wanted to do the right thing. He'd had a bad childhood, and even when he'd thought things were getting better in the circus, he'd found the rot. Barney had turned to crime and Clint doesn't even know what he's doing now, if he's even still alive.
Before Clint could join Barney in his less than legal pursuits, he'd been recruited to Shield. That one moment was the turning point for him. Before that, he could have gone either way. Now though, people see him as a hero and it's all he can do to try to prove to himself that he deserves it.
"I'm trying to. It's a lot to live up to, though."
"I get that," she says softly, her tone serious. More than most people, she gets it. Before joining SHIELD, she'd idolized superheroes, those with powers and without; she'd fangirled hard over meeting Mike with his enhanced abilities. But now with everything she's seen and done, even with her own powers she doesn't always feel like a hero. She's just a SHIELD agent doing her job.
"The first time I heard someone had a poster of me on their wall was..." She shakes her head, looking back out over the city before turning back with raised eyebrows. "And apparently there's some spicy fanfic of me out there, which is... something. But the whole hero thing just feels like I'm going to end up disappointing someone, you know?"
"It's so wild to think about. Like, I'm just a guy, just a divorced old dad and these people look up to me? Kate looked up to me so much that she trained to become an archer. I don't think she does anymore now that she knows me but... it's better that way. It's good that she knows I'm fallible now. That way we can be partners. But yeah, it was a bit of a mindfuck to find out."
He's never looked into fanfiction of himself and he doesn't plan to, but that's wild to him too. "Did you read it?" He asks, morbidly curious to know. "You don't have to tell me." He won't look for it either since that would be crossing a line between them. Daisy is a real person and not just some character in a show.
She makes a mental note to ask more about Kate later. If they're partners, that means she's someone important to Clint, and that makes her someone important to Daisy. And look at her, jumping ahead again when they've only just met. She really has to stop that...
"No, I absolutely did not," she assured him with a firm shake of her head. "Apparently, there was a lot of shipping going on with people I've never even met, so while I'm oddly kind of flattered, big no thanks."
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no subject
But his idea for a second date sounds... perfect, honestly. Given how chaotic her chosen career is, she isn't really a go do stuff girl in her rare off hours. Whenever she has a free night, she would just as soon grab a pizza and stream a movie with her niece, though these days Alya prefers documentaries that threaten to put Daisy to sleep after a long day. But still, contrary to what most people probably believe of heroes, a quiet night in (if a rooftop can be considered in) seems like a really great option.
"I really like the sound of that." They've barely known each other for half an hour and she's already contemplating a second date. A thought occurs to her and she looks around for a moment, contemplating if she really wants to make that leap, and then she looks back at Clint with an expression that's equal parts challenge and hope. "You know, we could always do that tonight. I mean, why wait? Unless someone else is using it or something."
no subject
Then she offers to go there now and Clint isn't about to say no.
"Let's do it," he agrees. "We can have our second date there too," he assures her. Hell, they can have all of their dates there. "No one else uses it unless we're having a building wide thing. My back door opens up onto the roof so it's not accessible to anyone else unless they come through my place."
He chugs the rest of his beer and signals for the server to come so he can get their bill, insisting on covering it despite Coulson's offer. "Don't wanna feel like Dad is paying for us to go to the movies or something," he laughs.
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She finishes off the rest of her beer as well, laughing at his comment as he pays the bill. "I'm gonna tell him you said that," she teases, having a hunch that Coulson will respond by actually buying them movie passes the next time.
Grabbing her leather jacket, she slides out of the booth and nods to the door. "Come on, Hawkguy," she says with a grin. "Let's see if you get lucky enough for that second date."
no subject
He guides Daisy through the streets even though he's confident that she doesn't need the help at all. He can't deny that he likes that about her; he's always had a thing for women that can kick his ass without even trying. Maybe that's why he's been so dissatisfied with the dating pool on the apps.
There's a little store on the corner right before they get to his building so he says, "all I've got upstairs is Natty light, so if you want something else, we'll have to grab it here."
no subject
The way they walk together is really nice too, unexpectedly so. There's no sense of him seeing her as someone needing to be protected that she's gotten from people who don't know what she's capable of, so while he does stay close while he guides her to his building, it's comfortable rather than stifling. It feels like some strange sort of revelation that she actually likes it.
"You know, I've actually never tried it," she admits, glancing over at him. "But I'll drink just about anything, so we'll be good." Looking at the street ahead, a smile tugs at her lips. "And just FYI, I definitely want to hear the story of how you semi-legally own a building."
no subject
Once they get closer, he points the building out. "Oh, you mean this old thing? That's a story better told on a rooftop," Clint replies with a laugh.
The building itself isn't anything too special. It's made with red brick, south facing, with fire escapes and balconies around the back. There are only five floors, so there's no elevator, but it is in good repair. Clint likes it, it's got character, unlike the new sky scrapers that are being erected everywhere right now. Once they arrive, Clint opens the door for Daisy and tells her, "take the stairs all the way up. I'm right behind you."
goose wants to be a chaos flurkin
Those thoughts are immediately shoved back down, hidden away in the hopes that she won't talk herself out of this. Running when things seem too good is a bad habit of hers, along with running when things get hard. Flaws are probably something they should discuss at some point...
"Okay, mystery man," she acknowledges with a playfully suspicious look before starting up the stairs. The stairs aren't difficult, though she's definitely glad there aren't more of them. If he'd asked her to climb 20 flights, she'd have some strong thoughts to share. Five, though, she can absolutely handle.
Goose is always a chaos flurkin
He opens the door for her to go in, revealing a modest loft style apartment (like this), clean but well lived in, floor to ceiling windows on the left and a door that leads to the staircase just off the right side of the kitchen, leading up to the roof.
"Welcome to my place," he says, coming in behind her. He leads her to the kitchen and grabs the remainder of the beer then opens the door for her. This time, he leads her up and opens the door to the rooftop. Even though he's the only one with access through his apartment, he does let the other tenants come up whenever they want, and Mrs. Smith even has a key so she can tend to the garden). Thankfully there's no one up here now, leaving the space open for a pretty nice date.
Clint comes up behind her and passes her one of the beers before leaning over to look at the city. "So, better than the bar Coulson chose?" he laughs.
no subject
She can imagine feeling safe here. That's the part that's a little scary.
Following him out onto the roof, the sprawling city before them is a stunning view. It's not perfect by any means, but it's the only hometown she's ever known, so she'll always have a certain level of fondness for the city. There's a growing list of people within it who she's fond of too.
"Oh yeah, much better," she agrees with a grin before taking a sip of her drink. The beer sits on her tongue for a moment while she considers the flavor. "It's not great, it's actually pretty terrible, but you know, I've had worse." She can't help but laugh as she wrinkles her nose at the can before shaking her head and taking another drink.
no subject
He's angled more toward her than the view, but then, he's used to seeing it. What he wants to see is Daisy. She's looking out at the city, and Clint takes a moment to take her in. She's beautiful, of course, but there's something about the way that her eyes are shining in the reflection of the city lights. She loves this city, and he can tell. It seems like she's having a good time, too, which is nice to see.
"So, I'm really bad at first dates. Are there questions we should be asking each other? I don't want to ask anything triggering, and in our business, that could be anything."
no subject
"You ask that like I have the answers," she counters with a shake of her head. "I can't remember the last time I had a first date. Hell, I might never have had one before. Most of my relationships have gone from 0 to 60 and skipped the in-between. Which might not say great things about me, now that I think about it..."
With a playful cringe, she realizes she's stumbled back onto a question she'd considered earlier. Might as well get it over with now. So after another swig of beer, she asks, "Speaking of, what would you say your flaws are? Mine include a whole host of rejection and abandonment issues, running when things get tough or seem too good to be true, and usually putting everyone else before myself."
Look, just because she doesn't actively see a therapist at the moment doesn't mean she's not fully aware of what they would say.
totally forgot to use the right icons. oops
"Well shit, going for the hard ones," Clint teases. "And yeah, I definitely have flaws. I'm reckless, I have an ego. I don't like to listen to people, especially when I think I'm right. In a relationship, I can be a bad communicator. I've got loads of daddy issues, rejection issues, so same. I don't consider this a flaw at all, but my kids come first. It doesn't matter what else is happening. They have to come first."
It's caused friction in the past, with people that think that they should come before everything else in his life. He can't let that happen.
lol i've done that too, no worries!
It's only the last one that needs to be addressed, as far as she's concerned. It's the most important of them all. "That's definitely not a flaw," she agrees, looking at him. "You putting them first — it makes all the difference in their lives, even if they don't realize it. If I'd had that growing up..."
She looks away again, emotion thick in her voice. "I met Coulson when I was 25, and he was the first person to believe in me in a long time. He was the only person to ever put me first, and it changed my life. Everyone deserves to have that, and your kids are lucky to have that in you."
Re: lol i've done that too, no worries!
This is a hard line for Clint, so he's really glad that Daisy agrees. "Ideally, whoever I end up with will love them too, you know?" He's not about to introduce someone to them right away though. He doesn't want to move too fast where that's concerned. And he doesn't want to get ahead of himself either, imagining Daisy coming to the farm with him to spend a long weekend, meet the kids and Laura too. It's too much to consider for a first date.
The relationship she has with Coulson doesn't surprise him. Coulson's always been the kind of guy that sees the potential in someone, even if they're currently not meeting it. He'd done the same with Clint himself. "Yeah, it's the same for me, really. He was at my wedding, he came to see my kids when they were born. He was always more than just my handler, you know? And now he's not my handler so we can have a beers on the roof and he can set me up with his new favourites," he chuckles at the end there, giving Daisy a little squeeze.
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Of course, that's not to say she wouldn't be able to love children if they came into her life, say attached to the person she was seeing. But that's a terrifying notion all on its own. What if they don't like her? What if they decide she's not good enough to be with their dad? They're ridiculous thoughts, this is their first date and they're nowhere near that stage of things yet.
Hearing Clint talk about Coulson is both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. How many of those little life moments had Coulson missed out on over the years in the name of keeping a secret? Her smile is strained as she glances at Clint. "I'm glad he finally told you about..." She lifts her free hand in a slightly helpless gesture. "I'm just sorry he didn't do it sooner. Things were bad for a long time and I know he could've used you in his life."
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If that's not growth, Clint doesn't know what is.
He wonders what she means by things being bad. Coulson hasn't told him everything, a lot of it being classified, Clint is sure, but some probably just too much for Coulson to want to talk about. They both have their own lives now, and they don't get to spend as much time together as they might want to. Coulson still comes out to the farm for the kids' birthdays, still drops by in New York every so often, but it's not the same as it was when they were basically living in each others' pockets.
Things are getting a little morose though, and it's their first date. They can talk about deeper, darker stuff if they continue this. "So, you wanted ear about how I happened to become the owner of this beautiful building?"
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"Yes, please, this is a story I have to hear," she answers with a smile, turning slightly to face him but not putting any distance between them. They're still physically close, but rather than feeling awkward because of how new this all is, it just feels... nice. It feels right.
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"So, there are these guys, Russians, maybe mob. I was renting my place from them just to have somewhere away from the Avengers and SHIELD. I've come into some money more recently - legal I promise - and I was just kinda sitting on it with no idea what to do with it. So I started hearing that the Tracksuits were doubling and tripling rents here. And like, there are a lot of families in the building, some young couples, and just, kids that are starting out. No one except me could have afforded the new prices and they all would have had to move."
He takes a breath because he needs to control his anger. He's still so furious that the good people that live here were threatened like that. "Anyway, I found out because they wanted to raise my rent too, and then we all started talking. Long story long, I dropped a bunch of money on the head Tracksuit's desk and told them the building was mine now."
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As she listens, Daisy can certainly relate to needing a place away from the people she works with day in and day out. There's a part of her that relies on it, her sense of security dependent upon being surrounded by people she trusts, but there's another part that misses the freedom she'd had before joining SHIELD. More than a few times, she's considered getting an apartment outside of the company-owned building she's currently in, but that's just not a leap she's ready to take yet.
That little hint of anger he tamps down on might be a red flag for some people, but for Daisy, it's a giant green one. He's angry on behalf of the people he's taken on as his to protect, the same way she always is when it comes to Inhumans. These people are just trying to live their lives — what's more important than protecting that?
She raises her eyebrows at that last part and asks a follow-up question before taking another sip of her beer. "And they just went with it?"
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"It's been a bit now, though, and since the tracksuit mob has been taken care of, no one's bothered me at all. Nat's looking into getting everything above the board so no one else can just swoop in and take all this and I get to keep charging fair rents and you know, having a bit of a community around here." It's also kind of nice to not be around heroes all the time. Clint doesn't often consider himself one, so sometimes it can be difficult.
"And sometimes my kids come and visit when we're flipping a unit and they get to help out," he adds.
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"I bet they enjoy working with you like that," she comments in response to the last part, offering him a smile. It's a hell of a story he'd shared, with both lighter and darker elements to it. Leaning on the former, she shakes her head playfully. "Look at you living up to the hero image everyone has of you. I'm impressed."
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Before Clint could join Barney in his less than legal pursuits, he'd been recruited to Shield. That one moment was the turning point for him. Before that, he could have gone either way. Now though, people see him as a hero and it's all he can do to try to prove to himself that he deserves it.
"I'm trying to. It's a lot to live up to, though."
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"The first time I heard someone had a poster of me on their wall was..." She shakes her head, looking back out over the city before turning back with raised eyebrows. "And apparently there's some spicy fanfic of me out there, which is... something. But the whole hero thing just feels like I'm going to end up disappointing someone, you know?"
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He's never looked into fanfiction of himself and he doesn't plan to, but that's wild to him too. "Did you read it?" He asks, morbidly curious to know. "You don't have to tell me." He won't look for it either since that would be crossing a line between them. Daisy is a real person and not just some character in a show.
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"No, I absolutely did not," she assured him with a firm shake of her head. "Apparently, there was a lot of shipping going on with people I've never even met, so while I'm oddly kind of flattered, big no thanks."
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