chuju: (215.)
Daisy Johnson, Agent of SHIELD ([personal profile] chuju) wrote2021-04-25 04:08 pm
armeyets: endings beginnings. (pic#15326420)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-04 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
I'd like you even if you were blue and covered in sharp spikes.

[ It's an impulsive admission, blurted out on the spur of the moment, because god knows Bucky's mouth is always writing checks that he's left having to cash afterwards — but after the words are set loose, he finds that he doesn't mind them being out there, either. He doesn't look startled or abashed, just quietly fond and at ease. He takes another sip of his coffee. ]
armeyets: 355. (pic#15501518)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-04 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, good. 'Cause I do.

[ It really is a strange feeling, being plunged back into those adolescent nerves squirming in his stomach, that nervous flutter, that sensation of being right back where he started and no smarter for it. Some trends had been the same back then as it was today, and so do you like me like me? had been a thing in his era, too, and it feels just as ridiculous now: that hopeful anticipation, the butterflies welling up.

He'd been nervous with Leah, but with the lurking doomed knowledge that it probably wouldn't have worked anyway. Sarah had been easier — a playful lark, a way of messing with Sam, not something he expected to go anywhere — and so he'd been able to coast along with that aimless flirtation without overthinking it.

Daisy, though, is something different.
]
armeyets: fatws. (pic#14819789)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-05 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
[ The corner of Bucky's mouth twists ruefully and he raises his left arm, fingers splayed, hand upward. He curls his fingers, the black-and-gold clenching into his palm. The movements are smooth and frictionless, the interlocking plates sliding seamlessly as he moves. It's not like the HYDRA arm, which had ached on cold mornings and its joints had occasionally gotten stuck. It's beautiful— and yet. ]

Was I that obvious?
Edited 2022-04-05 02:46 (UTC)
armeyets: endings beginnings. (pic#15326382)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-05 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
[ Bucky looks a little sheepish, shoulder tipping once more in a half-shrug at being so easily called out. At least her pseudo-dad gets it. It's already more relatability than Bucky's accustomed to getting — he doesn't personally know anyone else with a cybernetic limb, although he knows they're out there, scattered across the globe. ]

It's not just how people look at it. It's not just the arm by itself. [ His voice is slow, hesitant, not certain if he wants to open this particular can of worms. It's the darker underbelly he usually traipses right by. But she's brought it up and he's already plumbed so deep into her own damage, so... ]

It's the fact that I know exactly how many ounces of pressure it takes to crush a human skull. How much to snap a neck or a spine. It's so much easier with my left hand. On the occasions I had to snap a neck with my right arm, I really have to get good leverage and I have to pull. But with the left— people come apart like tissue paper. When they first installed it, I didn't know how to regulate that strength. I broke everything I touched.

[ Far from looking shattered, his face is just neutral. Still and motionless, like a waxen image. ]

I can crack an egg now, without spilling the yolk. I've practiced. I'm more careful. The fine-motor control is better on the vibranium arm. But I don't forget what it can do, when I want it to. And so it just feels weird to use it in everyday contexts, I guess. Shaking hands. [ A beat. ] Touching someone. I mean, talk about bringing a gun to a knife fight.
armeyets: 355. (pic#15501549)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-05 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[ As always, that unexpected understanding splinters something open inside him: a hollow ache beneath his ribcage which isn't just the broken bones, but more the realisation that once again, she gets it.

And he's not. Afraid of her powers, that is. Call it hubris or arrogance or a dumb blind faith in his own survivability, but it hadn't even crossed his mind. Bucky swallows, hard, and there's that perpetual balancing act between earnestness or being serious as a heart attack versus that defensive humour. When he finally finds the words, they're lighter than before:
]

Depends. Do you only lose control of your powers when in a fight, or— other times?

[ It's not that the wall is back up, but it's more like the humour is a reflex. A tic. He almost can't help it, that mischievous wink mingled with genuine curiosity, a half-salacious nod to all the different ways he'd like to distract her someday, actually. But a second later, he sobers. ]

Thank you.

[ Not for the first time, he considers how easy it would be to bridge the rest of that gap: knit his fingers in the neck of her shirt and haul her closer, cross that canyon of the couple feet between them in this bed, draw her mouth to his.

It would be easy, and the hardest thing. So instead he just reaches up, rests his right hand over hers over his cheek.
]
armeyets: fatws. (pic#14819775)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-06 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
Hmm. Filing that away for future reference.

[ He doesn't even know if he might do the same in bed — he hasn't been with anyone since the arm was installed — and he can, too mortifyingly, picture a scene where he gets too distracted and grabs too hard, forgets his own strength, hurts the person he's with. More than enough to get anxious about. That's a bridge for the far future, though, and not something he has to worry about just yet.

So Bucky keeps it light, and makes himself relax. Exhales a long breath, tips his cheek into Daisy's hand — and then turns his head, brushes his lips against the line of her wrist in a glancing almost-kiss against her skin, before he withdraws.
]

I'm not afraid of you hurting me. For the record. Maybe because I'm an idiot who can survive having a building dropped on him, but the point stands.
armeyets: 355. (pic#15501554)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-06 03:55 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The corners of his eyes crinkle into a smile. ]

It's just the truth. Not trying to make it a line. And I mean, strictly speaking, if we're going by the old days, then I should've met Coulson first and asked for permission to take you out now and then to get to know you better. We skipped a few steps.

This, too, [ Bucky gestures at their surroundings, her sitting in his bed, ] would be, like, wildly inappropriate. People would gossip if you stayed late, let alone spent the night. People found ways around it, sure, but it looks like things are a little easier these days.

[ It's somewhat safer to discuss antiquated dating in the abstract — like a miniature history lesson, talking about people and society as a whole, rather than enduring those seismic nerves which sink in when he thinks about dating in the specific, and one woman in specific. ]
armeyets: endings beginnings. (pic#15326386)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-07 03:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Us, our. Those small words are a comfort, an unexpected fire to warm his bones by. It's nice to hear after he's been out in the cold so long, and when the two main people in his corner both came with a vibranium shield. Maybe they don't have to be the only ones— ]

I can't promise I'm any good at it.

[ He hadn't meant to say that. But as ever, Daisy has a way of sparking bare honesty out of him: right now, it has something to do with the feeling of both her hands around his, that slight weight and pressure, the companionable sensation. ]

It goes without saying that I'm beyond rusty, on top of things having changed over the decades. So, I dunno, I'm just... [ Bucky squeezes her fingers once. ] Just mentioning it, for when I inevitably fuck up.
armeyets: 355. (pic#15501559)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-08 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
I'll hold you to that.

[ Bucky's voice is warm, bemused. They really are too similar, even if they don't know where all the edges align yet, and they're still excavating the details. Part of him still wants to panic and flee and jettison himself off the balcony, but he makes himself focus on this moment, on staying anchored in his body, on the enjoyment of Daisy holding his hand even if it's at war with his innate restlessness, his fidgeting unease as the idea of a relationship becomes more and more specific. The more real it becomes.

He picks up his coffee again with his free hand, metal fingers curling around the paper cup, unheeding of the heat as he balances it against his knee.
]

You know five bucks in the 1940s would be like a hundred bucks now?
armeyets: misc. (pic#14767604)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-10 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
I've thought of getting a lot of things, but never really committed.

[ No coffee maker, barely any cooking supplies, no couch, no dining table, no bed. He doesn't even know where to start. ]

So I know you live barebones too, but what would be on your housewarming list? Any recommendations? I mean— [ Bucky gestures with his metal hand to the mattress they're sitting on. ] Okay, I know a bedframe is probably top of the list, but. What do people get for their apartments, apart from coffee makers?
armeyets: endings beginnings. (pic#15326389)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-10 04:15 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, you're like, my second friend. Big enough for two is enough. Don't think I'll be hosting any huge dinner parties anytime soon.

But okay, yeah, that's a good idea. It'll save me some of the crumbs on the mattress. [ A beat, and then a quote from Archer, because somehow that show had helped kill some of the late-night hours he'd been awake and couldn't sleep: ] That's how you get ants.
armeyets: misc. (pic#14767668)

[personal profile] armeyets 2022-04-11 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The corner of his mouth quirks into a smile. Half-teasing: ]

Haven't even had our first real date yet, and we're already talking about meeting your dad and picking out furniture together. Something tells me this really isn't how this sort of thing normally goes, huh?

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yrs to wrap?

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