[ It’s surprisingly hard. It’s so fucking hard to verbalise what he wants and needs when he isn’t even certain of it himself; when, starting with the war, he’d already grown used to burying it six feet deep and simply smiling over it; and in all the decades since, he hasn’t been allowed to have an opinion. A preference. To explore what he wants. To even attempt a relationship with another person. He hadn’t existed for anyone except his masters for so long, and now that those strings have been cut, he’s trying to remember what it feels like to try.
So Bucky takes a deep, rattling breath, but then he nods. ]
[ Smiling with genuine happiness, she moves her hands to his against her thighs, loving every damn second of being able to touch him like this. To be close and know that it's okay now. She'll still always look for signs of it being too much, but now there's the hope of there being times when it's not enough. (She's looking forward to the latter.) ]
So, birthday boy. What do you want to do now? It's not that late, we could watch a movie or I could show you how to use your new toy. Or if you're hungry, we could get something that's not just alcohol and sugar — though, we are adults, so that is a perfectly acceptable dinner.
[ Is she still grinning like an idiot? Absolutely. Does she care? Not one bit. This is a feeling she could really get used to. ]
[ All of those options sound wonderful. Bucky considers it, weighing each of them in his mind, but there’s an irrepressible smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. It’s hard to bite it back whenever he’s around her: the warmth and light and kindness that Daisy just radiates, constantly, all the time, just by her very presence. ]
Can I say “all of the above”? Because, like, how about we order in some takeout, you show me how to use this doo-dad, [ did he really just say the words doo-dad, ] and then we can watch a movie with dinner.
Which kind of sounds like a perfect, chill night. Like, I couldn’t have asked for any better for my birthday. Thank you.
[ Steve, maybe. He misses Steve. But in lieu of that, Daisy’s still managing to help patch up those wounds. ]
[ It's strange to feel this happy. So much of Daisy's life has been full of pain and loss that if she stops to think about this warmth of emotion, it'll feel like some sort of surreal dream. Though, her dreams usually lean toward nightmares, so even that isn't an apt comparison. This is the stuff of pure fantasy, somehow more wildly incomprehensible than even the existence of aliens had been.
But it's real. This is her life. She's falling for a man who says "doo-dad" with a straight face and she wouldn't change that for anything in the world. ]
It does sound perfect, doesn't it? [ Her smile is radiant as she gives his right hand a gentle little squeeze. ] You're welcome.
[ A few moments pass and then she moves her hands to pat his knees, signaling that they need to get on with things or they might just sit there all night staring into each other's eyes or something equally lovestruck ridiculous. Which she wouldn't necessarily mind, but they can save that for another night. Tonight, they have other plans. ]
Okay, you pick where we order from. I'm good with anything except the super sketchy burger place down the block.
[ She might be willing to do just about anything for Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, but even this superhero has her limits. ]
Wait, it’s sketchy? I’ve had some of the burgers and I think they’re fine. Then again, I could probably eat nuclear waste and survive.
[ Lead stomach, another one of the small benefits of that super-serum. But Bucky’s grinning, half-joking, and then slipping out of bed to go check the kitchen. There’s a stack of takeout menus stuck to the fridge with magnets; which still doesn’t bode well for his actual meal skills, he doesn’t do much cooking here, but it does make the place feel more lived-in. And particularly with Daisy’s additions, this sad apartment is starting to look and feel more like an actual home.
It’s good. It’s gonna be good. This time last year, he had nothing — but between Daisy and Sam and his stupid goddamned therapist, his life is slowly starting to settle into the semblance of something he doesn’t actually mind living. ]
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So Bucky takes a deep, rattling breath, but then he nods. ]
I’m shitty at this but, yeah, I’ll try. Deal.
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[ Smiling with genuine happiness, she moves her hands to his against her thighs, loving every damn second of being able to touch him like this. To be close and know that it's okay now. She'll still always look for signs of it being too much, but now there's the hope of there being times when it's not enough. (She's looking forward to the latter.) ]
So, birthday boy. What do you want to do now? It's not that late, we could watch a movie or I could show you how to use your new toy. Or if you're hungry, we could get something that's not just alcohol and sugar — though, we are adults, so that is a perfectly acceptable dinner.
[ Is she still grinning like an idiot? Absolutely. Does she care? Not one bit. This is a feeling she could really get used to. ]
no subject
Can I say “all of the above”? Because, like, how about we order in some takeout, you show me how to use this doo-dad, [ did he really just say the words doo-dad, ] and then we can watch a movie with dinner.
Which kind of sounds like a perfect, chill night. Like, I couldn’t have asked for any better for my birthday. Thank you.
[ Steve, maybe. He misses Steve. But in lieu of that, Daisy’s still managing to help patch up those wounds. ]
no subject
But it's real. This is her life. She's falling for a man who says "doo-dad" with a straight face and she wouldn't change that for anything in the world. ]
It does sound perfect, doesn't it? [ Her smile is radiant as she gives his right hand a gentle little squeeze. ] You're welcome.
[ A few moments pass and then she moves her hands to pat his knees, signaling that they need to get on with things or they might just sit there all night staring into each other's eyes or something equally lovestruck ridiculous. Which she wouldn't necessarily mind, but they can save that for another night. Tonight, they have other plans. ]
Okay, you pick where we order from. I'm good with anything except the super sketchy burger place down the block.
[ She might be willing to do just about anything for Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, but even this superhero has her limits. ]
thaaaat’s a wrap
[ Lead stomach, another one of the small benefits of that super-serum. But Bucky’s grinning, half-joking, and then slipping out of bed to go check the kitchen. There’s a stack of takeout menus stuck to the fridge with magnets; which still doesn’t bode well for his actual meal skills, he doesn’t do much cooking here, but it does make the place feel more lived-in. And particularly with Daisy’s additions, this sad apartment is starting to look and feel more like an actual home.
It’s good. It’s gonna be good. This time last year, he had nothing — but between Daisy and Sam and his stupid goddamned therapist, his life is slowly starting to settle into the semblance of something he doesn’t actually mind living. ]